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[26 Jul 2008|09:33am] |
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My darling girl -
You have had a special, cherished place inside my heart for years now. From that first night that we formed our club of two, our lives have been connected, even when we weren't in constant contact. You have been there every time I needed you, you were a soft place to fall when I was tired and weary.
I have always imagined us as young girls, staying up late and having our ice cream and romance movies parties, giggling in our pajamas as we prank called boys and did each other's hair. Passing books between our two houses until no one remembers who owned the copies to begin with - and no one cared. We would have laughed together, cried together, teased and fallen and flew and all of it, side by side, because you are that rare thing people search to find - a true friend.
It's a sad joke that life plays on us, to have people we come to love so deeply be so far away. I would give anything to be there for you today. Because today, you become that undefinable thing, that mysterious being which every woman dreams of becoming from age twelve on. You are becoming a wife. You have come out of darkness and despair to find the one man whom you feel cherishes you enough to cleave to him forever, to believe in forever, to depend on, forever. You found the man who made you smile again. And I will ever be grateful to him for that.
I wish more than anything that we could be there today. I wish you could hear my daughter babbling in her secret baby language as you said your vows. I wish that I could be one of the few who are lucky enough to stand up for you on this day. But I'm a thousand miles away.
Know today that you are in my thoughts, that I am wishing you the best possible future one could ever have. That I adore you and wonder how you are, and what's going to go wrong that you'll laugh about in 20 years, what you look like and if you cry, if your parents cry, if Brendon cries.
You are beautiful. You are stunning and a person of worth and quality, and brilliance and wit and laughter and today, you soar.
Today, you're the king of New York.
I will love you forever. I miss you so. And I always need you.
Love,
Wag
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[20 Dec 2007|10:07am] |
Forgive the tub/pile of Jeff's things in the background. We're still waiting on a dresser.
Anyway. My parents are headed here today to stay until the 24th (Oh, Jeff will be having a blast, let me tell you.) And then we'll head to his parents' house for two days, and come back here.
I clean now, yo. OH! Our address.
Apartment 4B
8 Ypres Dr
Kingston, Ontario, Canada
K7K 5K4
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[04 May 2007|01:29pm] |
This is Erich's address, should anyone be interested in sending flowers. The viewing is today, funeral tomorrow.
Erich Caudell
1953 Youngston Rd
Jarrettsville, MD, 21084
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[03 May 2007|10:19pm] |
I just kept searching and searching newspapers local to her area, thinking surely, there's something about this, iut couldn't have happened like a flash in the night with nothing to say, look, this happened, it was a moment in time and it was real and horrible and you should remember it. This is all I could find.
In the Baltimore Sun:
CAUDELL , Rebecca A. On May 1, 2007, REBECCA "Becki" (nee Hild); beloved wife of Erich Caudell; mother of the beloved late Mackenzie Helen Caudell; loving devoted daughter of John and Susan Hild; loving sister of Andrea and Patricia Hild; granddaughter of Annabell Shupe, William and Shirley Shupe, Mary Hild and the late John Hild, Sr.; loving daughter- in-law of Terry and Sharon Caudell; sister in law of Shannon and Dan Lund; aunt of Grace Lund; also survived by other loving family members and friends.
Relatives and friends are invited to call at the SCHIMUNEK FUNERAL HOME OF BELAIR INC., 610 W. McPhail Road (at Rt. 24) on Friday, 3 to 5 and 7 to 9 P.M. Funeral
Services will be held at St. Ignatius Church ( Hickory) on Saturday at 1:30 P.M. Interment Bel Air Memorial Garndens.
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[03 May 2007|09:21am] |
Guys, I'm sorry for the confusion. I suppose I assumed people already knew.
Becki, or ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) arduinna
died Tuesday morning. She was on her way to work, a job she hated and was planning to quit soon, and she was hit by a tractor trailer. As many of you know, Becki had miscarried a while back, gotten married to Erich, and became pregnant again. She was 6 months pregnant with a little girl they'd named Mackenzie.
Nothing about this entire situation makes any sense. It just all seems like one huge impossible joke. Her husband is left with no wife, no impending baby girl. He was so excited-she used to tell me how he would talk to her stomach and poke the baby and sing to it, and now he's left with nothing but a new apartment with an empty baby's room, and an impending deployment to Iraq, with no one waiting at home for him.
She was such a part of my life. We RP'ed on Alala with so many characters...we were going to try to visit her in the summer. Jeff has goofy texts from her still saved in his cell phone. I use things everyday that she and Erich bought for us. She, Ellie, and I were going to have a Tarts and Tea party when we got together, dress up like hookers and drink tea (or more likely wine). She was going to be a bridesmaid at my wedding. Which of course, I never got the chance to ask her.
I've never felt like this before-I don't know how to make sense of it. No one close to me has ever really died. Every time I let myself think about it, there's a new heartbreaking angle to look at it from.
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[02 May 2007|11:10pm] |
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I can think of nothing else but the word senseless.
I love you so much. I don't know what to do with this. Nothing makes sense. I keep thinking this is some really tasteless prank, some practical joke you came up with. You're not really dead, you've developed a sick sense of humor, which is something I can forgive you for. There's no coming back from death.
I have half a letter written to you I never got to send. I have half a box filled with things for you that you'll never get to unpack.
My mom says that life is so fragile, and to be thankful for my blessings. To be honest, I just feel guilty for them. I've felt guilty all along, since that day on the couch in his arms, reading your words. Why yours and not mine? I hated myself for feeling partially grateful. I always wanted to tell you that, and now I never can.
Tonight, my heart is broken, and my eyes have cried themselves dry. Tonight, I have lost a dear friend, and I'll never be able to say goodbye.
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[08 Aug 2006|06:14pm] |
So, Domynic (atrocious_angel) jumped on a plane about an hourish ago to come to Toronto to stay with Jeff and I for about 10 days. We're on our way out to go pick him up (squee!) so if he or we are absent from messengers and whatnot for the next week or so, that's probably why. Although I'm sure all three of us will be making ridiculous posts about stupid things we do or say, because...well, that's what we do.
And just to repeat in case anyone forgot, anything either of them says about me that's slightly negative at all is NOT TRUE. They're suffereing from some kind of male-ism and I'm trying my best to cure them with good food and hygiene.
^_^
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[07 Aug 2006|03:56pm] |
Pre-emptive disclaimer:
Anything Jeff posts about my mental state is FULL OF LIES.
Thank you.
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[05 Jun 2006|10:59am] |
Hey guys, the honesty meme filled up awfully fast, and I know there's got to be SOMEBODY out there ready and waiting to fling some mud my way, and I suspect they just didn't get the chance because of how quickly the last one went. Therefore, here's a link to the new one rumination so lovingly advertised on her journal, so now there's plenty of opportunites to bash me as you will...or, y'know, tell me my taste in men has improved the way one shining star did in the last one. I want that person to know they made Jeff preen himself.
Anyway, sometime today I am going to try my best to type up the story of what happened the other night with the cookies and the Dialogos show, Dialogos being Jeff's band. There's just SO much to say about it, and by God, I'm lazy.
Let's just say it went 100x better than I thought, I think everything's okay now with me and the boys, I made new friends!!!! , and I have NEVER EVER been hit on so much at one place in a 5 hour timespan in my life. Plus, something very bad almost happened with this guy who kept touching me and kissing me when I didn't want him to...I went to go downstairs to the bathroom, and apparently he followed me-which is fun.
Like I said, it's a very long story, and I will try my best to get it typed out. Also, I've got pictures if I can make my phone and the data cable like each other, and then you can see that Jon Remedios, the lead guitarist, did indeed strip down naked on stage to his underwear.
Sexy stuff.
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[04 Jun 2006|08:43pm] |
Kushiel's Quiz
You are Alcuin. Gentle, sweet, and coveted by the influential gamemasters of intrigue, you play the game for love. Not for love of the game, but for the love of your guardian puppetmaster.
Take this quiz!
Quizilla |
Join
| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code
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| I am a sheep. |
[03 Jun 2006|04:29pm] |
Just checked LJ after finishing the last batch of cookies *insert sigh here* and look what I found!
Come on, guys. I know I've got to piss someone off out there. I'm even making this public so anyone can join in the fun.
I'm apprehensive, but I'm bored.
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[19 May 2006|06:37pm] |
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HAHA
I signed on Pandora.com because I wanted to listen to Sean Paul's "Get Busy" song...I'd listened to it today at work (gimme a break, I work at a Jamaican restaurant) and remembered that I liked it. So after the first Sean Paul song they played, it brought up a song called "Enemies" by Wayne Wonder. Doesn't sound very reggae-like, so out of curiousity, I clicked "Why Did You Play This?" And this is what it told me:
Based on what you've told us so far, we're playing this track because it features interweaving vocal harmony, extensive vamping, blah blah blah...and an unintelligible vocal delivery.
Apparently, the defining feature of Sean Paul's music is that you can't understand what the hell he's singing. For some reason, I'm REALLY amused by that.
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[16 May 2006|02:26pm] |
For memory purposes later, books I've read since the new year started...as best as my mind can remember, anyway.
Historian (Elizabeth Kostova)
Count of Monte Cristo (Dumas)
Black Jewels Trilogy (Anne Bishop)
Some Enchanted Evening (Christina Dodd)
Primary Inversion (Catherine Asaro)
Catch the Lightning (Catherine Asaro)
Sex and Kings (not sure)
Diaries of Adam and Eve (Mark Twain)
Copenhagen (Michael Frayn)
Quantum Rose (Catherine Asaro)
Quicksilver (Neal Stephenson)
Crimson Petal and the White (Michel Faber)
Trigger (Arthur C. Clarke)
Started Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell (Susana Clarke), but had to return it to the library as it was on hold. Re-read my favorite parts of Golden Key and Dragon Prince, at times.
Next few on my list in no particular order, barring that the first six will be read before the others as I already have them checked out of the library:
1. World According to Garp (John Irving)
2. Under the Skin (Michel Faber)
3. Where Rainbows End (Cecelia Ahern)
4. Jennifer Government (Max Barry)
5. Twelve Times Blessed (Jacquelyn Mitchard)
6. Confusion (Neal Stephenson)
Until I Met You (John Irving)
We Need to Talk About Kevin (Lionel Shriver)
Freddy and Frederika (Mark Helprin)
Pride and Prejudice (Austen)
System of the World (Neal Stephenson)
Lady of the Hay (not sure)
Heart Chaser (Thomas Locke)
Wayfarer, Book 1 of the Shekinah Chronicles (Matthew Dickens)
Lonesome Dove (Larry McMurtry)
Eragon (Christopher Paolini)
Eldest (Christopher Paolini)
As always, ever changing and growing.
I'm going to try to post reviews of the ones I've read sometime soon, which was my New Year's resolution after all...well, that, and living here with Jeff in Toronto by January 2007...and I'd say I've accomplished that rather well, wouldn't you? ^_^ Plus, everytime I go to the library I have a mental list in my head of what I'm looking for, but by the time I get there, I've forgotten half of it. It helps to have it here to look back on...and I know a few of you like to read along with me as I go, so here it is.
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[11 May 2006|11:50pm] |
Bernie darling, Happy Birthday!
Give me a sentence and I will write you a story.
Love.
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[07 May 2006|07:05pm] |
Go here now.
Do not breathe or blink until you click this link. It is the thing that has saved my day.
Rachel...I love you. HOW DO YOU FIND THESE THINGS AND WHY ARE THEY SO AWESOME
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMH0bHeiRNg&eurl
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[06 May 2006|06:04pm] |
I meant to post this a couple of days ago. Third night we're in the apartment, I think, I caught Domynic online and we talked very briefly, and then I said I had to go run to the store with Jeff, that I'd brb. Went in the other room to put my shoes on, and this is what I came back to on the screen maybe 30 seconds later.
(my MSN name) penis
(my MSN name) penis
(my MSN name) penis
(my MSN name) omg penis
(my MSN name) I love penis
(my MSN name) in my mouth please
atrocious_angel 's MSN name) Hi Jeff
Domynic didn't even miss a beat. I adore him.
Just so you know, Jeff is rather fond of jumping on my messengers and writing things such as "I love the cock" or "I fucking hate you and I wish you'd die, bitch."
Just follow Nic's fine example and don't even blink. It's not me, it's the Asian I live with.
Unless we're having a discussion about how much we both love penis...then, okay, it might work in that context. Or if I, y'know, fucking hate you and wish you'd die. Bitch. Then I'm serious. But chances are, if I wish you'd die, that statement isn't going to catch you offguard...you'll have some kind of prewarning that I hate you. So no worries, there, either.
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| I'm so late doing this. Sorry. Try not to ignore it all at once, now. |
[28 Apr 2006|10:12pm] |
1. I'll respond with something random I like about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll name something we should do together.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me (or just me).
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I'll leave you a quote that is somehow appropriate to you.
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
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[10 Apr 2006|03:00pm] |
Happy Birthday, uberpenguin!
If you're even alive.
If you are AND you read this, want a happy birthday story? Gimme a sentence and that's just what you shall have.
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